Please Remember
by free4life
Summary: Takes place after Kaori's death, after Kousei reads her letter. There is the inevitable hurt and grief after death, but they all struggle to move on. With dead!Kaori.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

 **Welp hey everyone!  
This is my first fanfic, so I'm not really good at this yet. I'm really not sure how long this is going to turn out though - it might be extremely short, or it might just turn out a bit longer than I expected. By the way, if you haven't finished the anime try not to read this yet, since it contains major spoilers... **

**Even though this is one of my favourite animes, it's been a while since I've rewatched the whole thing since it makes me so depressed... TT_TT So I've probably forgotten some stuff, if your guys think I've gotten something wrong, don't hesitate to review or pm me. This takes place starting from the letter Kaori write to Kousei in the end - after the letter, everything is just stuff I'm imagining and whatnot. I did not make up the letter. I kinda forgot most of what happened after/as he read the letter, so I'm making it all up from there, and didn't include Kousei's responses from the anime.  
Hmm this is a long A/N. I'll end it here then.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Your Lie in April, nor any of the characters and all that stuff... Also, the letter is not mine.**

* * *

 _Dear Arima Kousei,_

 _It feels weird writing a letter to someone you were just with…_

 _You're the worst._

 _Indecisive. Gullible. Twit._

 _The first time I ever saw you perform, I was 5 years old. It was at a recital for the piano school I was going to. This awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt. It was too funny. He turned to the piano that was way too big for him and the moment he played that first note, I was drawn in._

 _The sound was beautiful, like a 24-colour palette. The melodies danced._

 _The girl next to me started crying. I wasn't expecting that at all._

 _And even so, you gave up the piano. Even though it totally changed other people's lives. You're the worst. Indecisive. Gullible. Twit._

 _(Cut to Kaori as a kid, telling her parents she's giving up piano for violin because she wants Kousei to play again.)_

 _When I found out we were in the same middle school, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I'd hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar._  
 _I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn't really any space in there for someone like me._  
 _When I was a kid, I had to have an operation and I started having to be at the hospital for regular check-ups. In the first year of middle school, I collapsed and I was admitted over and over. With every visit, I was there for longer and longer. Really, I didn't get to class much in middle school, I spent more time at the hospital. And I knew something was wrong with my body._

 _One night, I saw my parents crying in the waiting room and I knew that my time was running out._

 _That's when I ran away._  
 _I didn't want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I stopped holding back from what the things I always wanted to do._  
 _I wasn't scared anymore to get contact lenses._  
 _I ate what I wanted instead of always worrying about my weight._  
 _And I took the music with all its high and mighty directives and played it the way I wanted._

 _And then I told a lie. Just one._  
 _I lied and said that I, Miyazono Kaori, liked Watari Ryouta._

 _And that lie brought you to me._

 _Please apologize to Watari for me… though I'm sure he's forgotten me by now_  
 _I think I need someone more wholehearted and earnest than him._  
 _I think we'd be fine as friends though._

 _And please apologize to Tsubaki for me too._  
 _I want for there to be no hard feelings. And there was one thing I could never ask of her, to ask her directly to introduce the two of us._  
 _I don't think she would've had an answer for me._  
 _After all, she was in love with you._  
 _We all knew that._  
 _I think the only people who didn't know were you and her._  
 _That underhanded lie brought me to you didn't work out the way I had imagined._

 _It was darker._  
 _And meaner._  
 _And denser._  
 _And more stubborn._  
 _And more perverted._

 _And softer._  
 _And more masculine._  
 _And sweet._  
 _Remember that bridge we jumped off? The water was so cool and refreshing._  
 _Racing each other alongside the train. I really thought I could win._  
 _The moon was saw from the music room that night, like a delicious-looking bun._  
 _Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you as we rode on that bike together. Then falling out time. We're awful singers._  
 _At the school at night. I'm still sure there was something there._  
 _The falling snow, just like cherry blossoms._

 _It's strange to be a musician, but then to have your heart so filled by something that comes from off-stage_  
 _They're unforgettable scenes to me. But they're such little things. It's weird, isn't it?_

 _What do you think?_  
 _Do you think I made it into anyone's heart like that?_  
 _I wonder if I made it into yours._  
 _I wonder if you'll still remember me._

 _If you forget me, I'll just come back and.._  
 _No, I don't want to start over._  
 _Please don't forget me._  
 _Promise me you won't forget me._

 _I'm glad it was you._

 _I hope this reaches you, Arima Kousei._

 _I love you._  
 _I love you._  
 _I love you._  
 _I'm sorry we couldn't eat all those canelés._  
 _I'm sorry I hit you so much._  
 _I'm sorry I was so selfish._

 _I'm so, so, so, so sorry._

 _Thank you for everything._

 _Miyazono Kaori_

* * *

After the death of Kaori, and after reading the letter she had left for him, Kousei felt as though his heart had been torn apart, half mended, and then torn apart again.  
Torn apart first, after her death. Half mended, when he knew that he had held a special place in her heart, enough that she had left him a letter. That she had returned his feelings, without him knowing. That he still had a piece of her, in a way, through this letter she had gifted him with. And then torn apart again, when the sad realization that they could never be together again hit him hard in the face.

She had given his life _purpose_ again. She had filled up his monotone life with _colour._ Colours that he never thought he would be able to see again - rosy pink and gold and everything in between.

And then she just up and left them. Left _him._

Of course she made it into someone's heart - his own. She hit him hard with her music, hit him in ways he did not think possible. She had helped him remember that special, special feeling of love. Helped him realize that it was still possible to love, even while on the bottom of a dark sea.

Silly girl.  
As if he could even _begin_ to forget her. As if forgetting her was even a choice. He was sure that even if one single memory started slipping away from him, her ghost would come back and force the memory upon him again as forcefully as a brick would hit him. As if he had to promise not to forget her, when forgetting wasn't even a choice for him.

While reading the letter, Kousei's feet had taken him on a little walk. Looking around, he quickly realizes he is in a park, near Towa Hall. Confused as to why his feet had let him here, he looks around and immediately recognizes the dome sitting there.

This is the place where he had first set eyes on Kaori. Kousei's feet had taken him on a memory walk, leading him through places and memories he had formed with that special girl.

He is hit with all the memories he had made with her. The first time he had set eyes on her, she had given him a beautiful impression - that is, until she took notice of Kousei. Then things went quickly downhill, until Tsubaki and Watari had come to his rescue.

Standing up on the dome, playing the melodica. Wearing a light pink short dress, she had seemed like someone from a fantasy; like she almost didn't belong to this world. The tears in her eyes - they disappeared so quickly when she saw him, he wasn't sure if he had imagined those tears. She got along so well with the children; the music they played together was so unique, and it had touched him deeply how they seemed to be having fun while playing the music, how they seemed to play for no other reason than to play for the pure enjoyment of making music.  
When the pigeons had come, they had all looked so joyful - truly, sincerely happy. Kousei had never really thought that music could bring such feelings. But Kaori had given his music new feelings.

Things had gone bad when Kaori had noticed Kousei taking a photo of them, and the beautiful impression she had first given him quickly evaporated as she started beating him with the instruments.  
And yet, even as she was hitting him with the various musical instruments, he still couldn't help but be in awe of this girl. So bright, fiery, colourful - everything he was not. Little did he expect this to be the girl that had wanted to meet his best friend Watari. This was the girl that liked his best friend, Watari.

But that was a lie, wasn't it? Kousei smiled a bit. It had been a lie she had told to bring herself closer to Kousei. And in a way, he was glad she had told this lie. It was just like she said - he doubted Tsubaki would have introduced Kaori to himself if she had outright asked to meet him. But bringing herself closer to Kousei, through Watari - well, that plan had worked like a dime.  
Even if he wasn't anything like she had expected. Even if he was so much more different than her fantasy of him.

He had loved her too.  
Never thinking he would have a chance against Watari.  
Never expecting her to return those feelings.  
Never suspecting that she had told a lie.

Looking up at the sky, he realized it had already turned to nighttime.

The sky was coated in a blanket of stars. Twinkling stars.

 _Twinkle, twinkle little star..._

The stars seemed to be winking at him. Reminding him that Kaori was somewhere up there. Reminding him of the times he had spent with her.

Kaori may not be with him right now, but she will always have a place in his heart.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading this far! Invisible cookies for everyone! Just so you guys know, I'm a really slow updater. But I won't drop a story unless I specifically say so, kay? I had some people tell me this is fine as a oneshot, but I'll leave that up to you readers! Should I, or should I not, continue this? I have some more ideas, but they can be made into separate stories, if you guys think this is okay as a oneshot. Review with your opinion! Whoop, thanks again guys!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

 **Hey there again! So, I decided to go with a longer story, instead of just a oneshot. Whoop, second chapter already! Stick with me, guys!**

 **Again, I do not own Your Lie in April, and all that disclaimer stuff.**

* * *

Looking around her, there seemed to be an endless blue. Endless blue of... Is that water? She looks down at her feet. They seem to be immersed within the water, but she can't feel the wetness. The water doesn't rise up to higher than her ankles. Her reflection stares back up at her - the water is so still, it's almost as if it were glass. Looking up, there is a cloudless blue sky. Blue everywhere.

 _Ah. I see. Is this death? I'm dead._ The girl comes to the slow realization that she had passed away.

After realizing this, she collapsed into a heap in the water, creating ripples in the otherwise still water. Tears streamed down her face and onto the water. She knew that she had left people behind - people she cared for, people she loved. But she couldn't remember who she had left. She couldn't remember anything.

This scared her the most. Not just the part about leaving people behind - yes, that was extremely saddening. But the fact that she couldn't seem to remember anything other than the fact that she had left people she loved behind, that's what scared her.

All of a sudden, a faint noise floats across the air and reached her ears.

Faint notes. She strained to make out what they sounded like. Somehow, she knew this was important. She had this feeling that this was key to remembering something.

First it seems... a couple measures of piano, is it? Yes, it's piano. Violin joins in... The song is lively, not slow at all... She strains harder to make sure she doesn't miss a single note. The name of the piece is right on the tip of her tongue. What is it? All of a sudden, the title strikes her like the weight of a piano falling onto her.

Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso Op. 28!

But why was she hearing this? The music was still faint - a ghost of a whisper, barely there. It gave her a nice, warm feeling, spreading out from within her chest. She knew this was an important song - it might even be a doorway leading her to some of her memories.

And yet the question still remained - why was she hearing this? Was this... a memory? But why music? Why would she be hearing this?

The music seems to go on for a long time, never increasing in volume. But she could hear it quite clearly, as it was quite silent wherever she was. She never made a sound, just listened to the faint melody. Gradually, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. She fought to keep herself awake, fought to listen to the rest of the song. But she felt sleep overtaking her, and finally stopped fighting against the inevitable. She succumbed to a deep, deep sleep.

 _Canelés. Stars. Piano. Hospital._

 _There was a boy._

She is suddenly jolted awake. Were those dreams? No, they had been too vivid to be dreams. Surely they must have actually happened? She had seen fleeting images and scenes. In one scene, she had been eating canelés next to a boy; the next, she was riding on the back of a bike under the stars with a boy; flashes of a boy sitting at the piano; and that same boy sitting next to someone who's face she couldn't quite make out in the hospital.

No matter what she saw, there was always that boy.  
Black-haired, with dark marine eyes framed with rectangular black glasses.

Who? Who was he?

Suddenly, she wished very much to have company. It was growing increasingly obvious that she was the only one here, and she longed to hear another voice. She longed to hear the boys voice, she longed to remember his name.

She just wanted to remember.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Sorry it's really short. Gaaaaah the feels... Is it sad that I can make myself depressed over something I wrote myself? Lel I'm just that sort of person though :D**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading again!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

 **Hey there again everyone! I got some questions regarding my last chapter, which I was actually expecting. I wasn't sure if I had made it clear enough who the girl I wrote about in the last chapter... But yes, it is Kaori. ^~^ Before anyone says anything else, yes, I know she's dead... But I'm going to keep writing from her perspective, maybe like an angel or something? Bear with me guys! Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Kousei sat down at the piano, his finger automatically going to play a song that will forever be etched into his brain. The song itself didn't seem like much, without a violin. And yet this song still held worlds of meanings and memories for Kousei. In his head, he could hear the violin part, playing along with him.

Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso Op. 28. The first song he had played together with Kaori.

Playing by himself seemed so lonely. So different. That's why he had not played much ever since she had left; it felt _wrong_ to be playing without her in this world anymore. But today, the sudden compulsion to play had overtaken him, and he had found himself in front of the piano.

A tear slipped out as he remembered their performances together, all the fun they had. How they had reached people with their music. How much she had made his style of music change. Pouring out there heart, soul, and everything else into the song and the moment. They were musicians - musicians didn't have to be good with words. They could communicate just fine through their music. And right now, he just wanted to pour out his everything into this piece. Hoping against all hope that somehow - just a wish - if he played with everything he had, the music would reach Kaori. Somehow, if he played it with his all, he thought he would be able to reach her, even past death.

* * *

The girl opened up her eyes again, waking yet again from her slumber. The water around her was still - it was eerily calm. This place was too lonely for her liking. The music was almost gone - fainter than it was before. Then, all of a sudden, it grew louder. It became more than a whisper - it turned to a distant hurricane of feelings, all rushing to her. Trying to reach her, but not quite yet there. Standing up, the girl knew in her heart - does a dead person even have a working heart anymore? - what she had to to. She stood in position - left hand holding up the violin she imagined, right hand holding an imaginary bow. Immediately, all the notes pour out of her, the music joining with the faint sound of the piano. She imagined the boy with the black hair and blue eyes to be playing the piano, and through her music, she tried to implore to him.

 _Please. Please, tell me who I am. Tell me who you are. Tell me who_ we _are._

She knew that the boy and her, they had been a "we" in some form. She had a faint idea that maybe he had played piano for her. She knew she played the violin, but didn't know much besides that. She also knew that the boy was important to her, somehow. And she knew that maybe, just maybe, if she played this song with everything she had, she would be able to reach him. Even past her death, reaching right into the land of the living. Imploring him to tell her who she - who _they_ \- were.

And so she played with her all, with everything she could hold within her. She was bursting with feeling, with emotion. She begged for permission to re-enter his world with music.

To once again reach someone with her music.

* * *

Kousei could hear Kaori playing with him. It seemed far too real to be his imagination, and yet even without opening his eyes he knew she was not in the room with him. _She's dead_ , a quiet voice reminded him in his head. Kousei still opened his eyes, checking to see if she would be there. He knew that she would not be there, of course. And yet, it was almost as if she was next next to him at that instant, playing the violin with his piano once more. He longed for it to be like that.

The music he was hearing from her seemed to be faint, and yet strong, at the same time. As if she were trying to reach him from across her death. As if asking him something.

Closing his eyes once again, he fell victim to Kaori's spell. To her spell of music. He sent over a wave of memories, trying to get to her even if it seemed impossible. For musicians, even death should not separate them. It may try, but they will overcome. His mother's death had taught him that. What he had thought to be a curse, a punishment, sent from his mother... It turned out to be a gift.

Through his mother's death, his music had evolved. And maybe with Kaori's passing, his music might just evolve once more. And so he took a deep breath, ignored the pain of all the memories, and kept on playing.

Because after all, musicians have to bear through that pain. But they are never alone - there's still a whole world of musicians out there.

* * *

 _Standing on stage. Breathing a little too fast due to nerves and excitement. Due to the crowds looking up at them from the auditorium. Due to their first performance together._

 _Looking back, she gives the boy one last look, before they launch into the piece._

 _Reaching everyone with their music - her ultimate goal. Not to win. Not to bow to the composer's wishes, and play as the score indicates. But to change the music to be her own; to own the music. That was how she played._

The girl's eyes went wide, and her arms dropped back to her sides. Was that... a memory? It felt like another little piece of her living self had clicked into her. This whole thing felt like one ginormous jigsaw puzzle, waiting for all the pieces to fall into place.

Did she actually just reach past death itself? As a musician, surely it was possible. Anything was possible through music, after all. Smiling a little, she stood with a greater confidence, and resumed the song. Playing for all she was worth, once again.

Without her noticing it, a tiny tree - not even a tree, just a sprout - grew out of the water, a ways from her. It swayed, even though there was no breeze. As if it were being moved by the music, it danced along with the melody.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Whoop another chappie done! This must be some sort of record for me ^~^ I just wanted to publish another chappie before the long weekend is over. After this, I might be a tad slower in updating... Sorry!**

 **Anyway, yeah. Free (invisible) cake to everyone who read this!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

 **Hey guys again! Here's another chapter for y'all! I sort of had a brief writers' block, so this might seem a bit disconnected with the rest of the chapters... I wanted to bring some of the real, living people into this story, so yeah. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Your Lie in April or the characters.**

* * *

 _Bzzt._

Kousei looked up sleepily from his desk, blinking away the sleep. Looking around for the source that had woken him up, his eyes rest upon his cell phone, which had lit up with a text. He takes up the phone, and reads the message.

 _From: Tsubaki_

 _To: Kousei_

 _Kousei! Get out of your house! You haven't been coming to school, haven't replied to anyone's texts, or picked up the phone since... well, you know. We're all worried about you!  
Anyway, want to come out to the bridge with Watari and I? The weather's getting nicer, so we thought we'd have a jump or two off Courage Bridge. You better be there! STOP MOPING AROUND AT HOME._

What was the date? Kousei checks the date on his phone, and his eyes widen. It's February 28 already?! It's nearly March. And almost spring.

Tsubaki was right; he hadn't been doing much lately. Mostly just lying around at home, occasionally getting up to go to the piano. But he hadn't played since that time he had the sudden urge to play Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso. It was strange. He felt as if his very existence was slipping from him. He hadn't had much outside contact; he skipped school, never replied to anyone's texts or calls... What was he even doing with his life?

Standing up, he decides that he'll start over again.

 _From: Kousei_

 _To: Tsubaki_

 _Sorry. I'll meet you guys there in an hour, how about that? At five. Don't be late!_

He realizes he's still wearing the same clothes he wore three days ago, he scrambles up to get changed.

He had spent enough time mourning and moping around. It was about time he made contact with the outside world. After all, he was sure this was not something Kaori would want of him.

As he ran around looking for clothes, he passed by the room with the piano. Skidding to a stop right before the room, he looks in again.

 _The piano's dusty again... and everything's scattered all around it. It's a mess. Kaori would flip a table if she saw the state this room was in..._

Making a quick decision, he looks at his watch. Four thirteen - still plenty of time before he had to get there, considering how close the bridge was.

He steps into the room, and quickly sweeps all the books off the piano, catching them all in his arms. He walks over to the bookcase, and sorts all the books in. He then takes a good look at the floor, and sees that there are tissues, clothes, food wrappers, and so much other stuff strewn all over the floor. Sighing, he starts picking up all the clothes, and gets a broom and dustpan to wipe up the rest of the garbage.

After all that is done, he starts dusting the piano. A layer of dust had developed over the time it had been disused, and Kousei felt guilty for neglecting the very thing Kaori had brought back into his life. Four forty-seven. He still had five minutes before he had to leave... Maybe a quick song wouldn't hurt.

He sat down at the piano bench, putting the duster aside. Adjusting the seat, he prepares to play.  
But the instant his hands touch the keyboard, he knows something's wrong. After a couple bars, he stops playing altogether, because the memories are almost more than he can bear. He couldn't stand it anymore.

He quickly shut the lid on the piano, and ran out of the room. He ran out of the house altogether, and went all the way to Courage Bridge without stopping once, trying not to think of what had just happened.

Four fifty-two - he was early. He stood by the railing of the bridge, trying to regain his breath and looking into the waters below. The sky was reflected in the water - and the reflection itself seemed to come from an alternate universe altogether. Kousei kept on staring down, but he wasn't really seeing anything. His mind was elsewhere - thinking about the time he and Kaori had jumped into the water together. It had been truly refreshing.  
The memory brought round a new bout of feelings, and he tried to shut all of the negative ones. But he still couldn't help the sudden feelings of grief and sorrow entering him, flooding his mind yet again. He couldn't help it; tears brimmed over, and spilled out over his face. A couple drops fell into the river, creating small ripples. He observed how the little tears didn't do anything to the flow of the water - they were merely overtaken by the current, and swept into the pattern of the river. He felt very small and insignificant.

"What's so interesting about the water? Did you find a mermaid?" A joking voice suddenly pops up next to Kousei, startling him out of his moody thoughts.

"Eh?" Kousei looked next to him in surprise. He hadn't noticed anyone come up to him, and he quickly wiped away his tears. Blinking, he sees that Watari has arrived. Seeing his best friend, whom he hadn't talked with for over a week, he is suddenly quite nervous.

"Hey there, Kousei," Watari says with a lopsided grin. "Been a while, eh? How ya doing?"

"Er... Uh, yeah... F-fine, I guess..." Kousei said.

Watari joins Kousei in looking into the river. "I'm guessing this bridge holds some memory, eh? Tears don't just come randomly. And I'll just take another random stab in the dark, and guess again that the memory has something to do with a certain girl we all knew? Someone special?"

Without looking at Watari, Kousei slowly nods. "Kaori. We... we jumped off her before. Together."

"Hmmm. I see. Thought it would be something along those lines." Watari sighed, and then turned to look at Kousei with a small smile. "But there are old memories, and we can make new ones, right? Keep the old ones - don't ever forget them. But don't just live in those memories - make new memories. Come on, let's make more memories together."

Kousei's eyes widened when he thought over Watari's words. _Let's make more memories together._

"Yeah, let's go. Think we have time for one jump before Tsubaki arrives?" Kousei asked, brightened up by his best friend's words.

"Sure, you know that gorilla, she'll probably forget the time and be fifteen minutes late. Let's go!" Watari grabbed Kousei's hand, and together they both jumped into the cool water, making big splashes.

"Hey! You guys didn't even wait for me, you idiots!" Tsubaki's angry voice can be heard from on the bridge, and Kousei and Watari exchange looks.

"You were late, so we figured one jump wouldn't hurt... Come on now, jump you big gorilla!" Watari called back up.

Seconds later, there was another splash, and then a brunette head popped up out of the water next to them.

"Oh man, that was so nice! We haven't done this in ages!" Tsubaki said with a huge grin on her face.

"Well, let's go again! This time, let's all jump at the same time, together!" Watari cried enthusiastically, already dragging both of the back out of the water and onto the bridge.

"Let go of me, you idiot! I can walk by myself, thank you very much!" she cried indignantly.

"But it didn't look like you were planning to go anywhere, so I dragged your big self out of the water." Their playful banter continued, while Kousei just looked on.

 _Thank you, Tsubaki and Watari. For sticking with me, even when I've been a terrible friend._

On impulse, Kousei grabbed his two best friends' hands, and pulled them with him over the railing as he jumped, taking them both by surprise. The three of them landed in the water at the same time, and created a huge wave. Spluttering, Watari and Tsubaki resurfaced, with very surprised looks, and were about to give Kousei a big talking to when they noticed Kousei's expression. He was wearing a huge smile, one they hadn't seen since forever, and he was laughing out loud at their expressions. The two of them exchanged glances, and joined in with Kousei's bright laughter. They were all just happy to be together again, to be joking around and having fun together.

 _Keep the old memories, and make new ones. For life goes not backward nor tarries on with yesterday, but it constantly moves forward._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading again guys! Review on your thoughts, and maybe some suggestions? *Throws candy out to everyone* Thanks again!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

 **Hey guys! I know this update was a bit slow... But life caught up with me, and well, it's been crazy. Here's another chapter though! I cross-posted this fic to AO3. Well... Enjoy, I guess? Sorry in advance if this chapter is terrible, I don't really know what to do any more...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Your Lie in April or any of the characters and all that stuff.**

* * *

Tsubaki walked down the hallway at school on her way to her next class, chatting happily with Watari. They turned a corner and bumped right into Kousei, who seemed to be in a rush to get to class. He waves at them with a quick smile, and runs down the rest of the hallway. Tsubaki notices that he seems to have dropped something... A folded sheet of paper. Seeing as he's already disappeared from sight, and that she would be late if she pursued him, she pocketed the paper and headed onward to class, planning to give the paper back to him after school.

During class, though, curiosity got the better of her. Looking to make sure the teacher's attention was directed elsewhere, Tsubaki discreetly took out the sheet of paper and unfolded it, keeping it out of sight. She hesitated before reading it - was it really okay to open it? Curiosity still prevailed though, and so she started reading.

 _'Dear Kaori,'_

Tsubaki's eyes widened in shock at the introduction. Kaori? So Kousei still wrote to her, eh? She continued reading.

 _'We had another busy day at school. It seems everyone is busy preparing for universities and life beyond school. Me? I've been accepted into an awesome music school. I'm really happy - but I still wish you could go to the school with me. A school for musicians - that is where you, where_ we _belong. If you hadn't entered my life, I doubt it would be going in the direction it is going in right now. I doubt I would even be_ thinking _about music if you hadn't bursted into my life._

 _Sometimes, I miss you so much it feels like my heart isn't there at all, and it's just some empty place where my heart is supposed to be. Instead it was replaced by a big ball of emptiness and hurt. I feel like bursting sometimes. Lately, whenever I have those sudden burst of feelings, I run to Courage Bridge and take a nice, big jump into the water. Sometimes I call up Tsubaki and Watari - but most of the time I jump by myself. The water really is refreshing._

 _It's spring already. A spring without you... it hurts, it feels wrong. It really does. You should be here. I won't ever forget you. I won't forget the sweet memories we made together. Never. I'll put them in a special place within my heart. That's where you'll be, forever. Within my heart._ _But Watari and Tsubaki have taught me important lessons. I'll still hold onto those memories - it's not like I can lose them, seeing how much a part of me they are. But I'll still make new ones. New ones, every single day._

 _I don't know why I'm writing all this down, as if it were addressed to you. Maybe I'm secretly hoping you will be able to read this, dead though you may be. I'm holding on to the past too much, aren't I. Even I know this isn't good for me... But I can't help it. How do I let go of someone who left me without a warning? How...'_

There, the letter stopped. There were a couple placed where the ink was quite smudged, as if water had made contact with ink. _Tears_ , she thought.

She quietly refolded the paper, and after school she slipped the letter back into Kousei's shoe locker. She decided not to ask him any questions.

* * *

Opening his locker to change his shoes after school, Kousei is rather surprised when a folded up slip of paper slides out. Confused, he picks the paper up, and unfolds it. His eyes widen when he realizes just what this paper is, and turns slightly red. H _ow in the world did this get in my locker?_ he thinks, still quite confused. _I must have dropped it earlier today… Ah, how embarrassing. In order for someone to return it to me, they must have read it. But then it would have to be someone who knew me, since I didn't sign my name. Wonder who it was?_ Shrugging that matter away, he takes the letter and heads home alone.

 _Dear Kaori,_ he wrote when he got back home. _Honestly, life isn't anything much right now. I don't know... everything seems so bland. Even my music seems bland. It just doesn't have the same brightness, the same liveliness. I just seem to be going through motions. Writing letters to you - this isn't good for the whole "moving on" thing, is it?_

All of a sudden the doorbell rings, and Kousei is so startled that he jumped up from his chair. He hears voices on the first floor, and remembers that he hadn't locked the door. Looking around, he picks up the most dangerous-looking thing he has in the room - which ends up being a pillow - and tries to make his way sneakily downstairs, ready to take on whoever had broken into his house. At the bottom of the stairs he peeks his head around the wall, preparing to strike - and is instead tackled to the floor by Watari and Tsubaki. The wind is knocked out of him, and he lays gasping on the ground, trying to comprehend what is going on.

"Heya Kousei!" Watari says cheekily. "You look like you were planning on attacking us... With a pillow it seems? Honestly, I'm disappointed."

"Yeah," Tsubaki chimes in. "What if we were actually thieves come in to steal your belongings? A pillow would not have done much damage you know," she says, looking mockingly stern, with her hands on her hips.

"Uh..." Kousei seems to have lost the ability to speak in coherent sentences, still slightly befuddled.

Upon seeing the still-muddles expression on their dear friend's face, the two burst into laughter.

"Honestly Kousei, what are we ever going to do with you?" Tsubaki laughed, holding her sides.

"We can never trust you by yourself, can we?" Watari was rolling on the ground, laughing until he was nearly in tears.

"H-hey... At least I'm more responsible than Tsubaki!" He finally regained his ability to talk, and joined in on their laughter.

 _Honestly, Kaori... It even feels wrong to laugh when you're not here to laugh with us anymore._

Kousei immediately stopped laughing, facing away from his friends. Tsubaki and Watari slowly stop laughing, a slightly puzzled and worried look settling onto their features.

"Kousei? Dude, what's wrong?" Watari pried anxiously.

"H-huh? Nothing's wrong. Absolutely nothing. Why ask?" Kousei managed to stammer out, turning a light shade of pink.

Tsubaki seemed to have an idea of what Kousei was thinking about though, and asked him quietly, even though she already knew the answer.

"Hey Kousei? Have you been playing piano much lately?" Kousei's guilty look confirmed her fears, though she didn't really need this confirmation. They lived right next door, after all. She could hear when he did - or didn't - play piano.

She slapped him on the head. _Hard._

"Ow! Dude, what was that for?" Kousei complained, rubbing his head.

"Kousei, you dummy! You _know_ what that was for! And you _know_ you deserved it!" Tsubaki exclaimed angrily.

"Hey Kousei? You know what? You're an idiot." Watari said, with an extremely serious look on his face.

"Wh-what?! What are you guys talking about?!" Kousei protested indignantly, though he couldn't seem to meet their eyes.

"YOU KNOW FULL WELL WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Tsubaki yelled.

Kousei was shocked to silence. Then, he hung his head, ashamed.

"Well... Yes. I haven't been playing piano much lately. I've probably been a terrible friend lately, too, huh? I-I'm sorry guys. It's just been really... difficult, I guess is-"

Kousei is interrupted by another slap, this time from Watari.

"Idiot. We _know_ you've been a terrible friend," Watari says, smirking. "And it's been difficult for us too. You think it wasn't? Heck, I _dated_ her for a while. And really liked her, too. Tsubaki was friends with her. We all feel her death - her being gone doesn't just affect you, it's affected lot's of others too. But do you see us holing up in our houses? Do you see us give up? No. We move forward. Though of course we don't forget her - we could never do that. But we don't just quit living. If Kaori could see the way you are now, I bet she'd have beaten you up ages ago."

Kousei's eyes widened slightly, taking in everything Watari was saying.

"I-I-"

This time Tsubaki cut in, neither of them letting Kousei get a word in.

"Yeah! I liked her a lot too, ya know? She was an amazing friend, so fun to be around," Tsubaki said.

 _Yeah, I know that._

"And when she collapsed that first time, we were all worried. We _all_ visited her, all worried for her. You weren't the only one!" Tsubaki continued. "You idiot! We all have enough to go through right now - but you have to make it worse, making us worry for you too!" To emphasize herself she gave Kousei a nice big kick on the shin.

"Oww!" Kousei rolled around on the ground, wincing in pain.

"That kick was quite nice, Tsubaki," Watari said approvingly, and the two high-fived.

"Anyway, Kousei. What are you doing right now? Are you too busy to go play some soccer with us?" Watari asked.

"Hey, why are we playing soccer? We should play baseball," Tsubaki argued back.

"No way! I suck at baseball, you know that! And I chose soccer because I knew I could win against you!"

"H-hey! That's not fair! And who said you would win against me?"

Kousei smiled a little, looking up at his two best friends from his position on the ground.

 _I'm glad some things haven't changed, at least._

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Sorry for the crappy ending... Anyway, I'm going to write from a dead!Kaori perspective soon, but I have a question for y'all. One of my friends, PoofballKarma, read what I have up until now and basically guessed the ending I was originally planning on using. But since the ending was really clichéd, and since it was so easy to guess, I might take the story in another direction. So, it's up to you guys from here on. Do you guys want that cliché ending that's happy and all that (but of course still sad) or do you guys want a really, really sad ending? Please review (or PM me) with you answer, I'll start writing the next chapter when there are over five opinions on this.**

 **Thanks guys! *Throws chocolate out***


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

 **Hey there again! Yes, I know I said that I'll start writing the next chapter when there are over five opinions. So far, I've gotten one. But I'm currently in one of those 'inspired-and-motivated-to-write' phases, and I wanted to write _something_. And since there wasn't a dead!Kaori perspective for a while... I decided to add this in! Really, this isn't much. Doesn't determine much of the direction of the story - all of this was written in one go. Just consider this a filler chapter. ^~^**

 **Disclaimer: I still don't own Your Lie in April or the characters and whatnot.**

* * *

It feels like she has already spent an eternity and a half here already, just staring out into the endless blue. Nothing moved, nothing stirred at all. The air itself seemed like it was unwilling to disturb the calm and peace. She had learned a while ago that she didn't breathe - that she didn't _need_ to breathe in this empty place. She understood vaguely that this body wasn't even a complete _body_. It was just physical space. Solidified air. _A ghost of herself._

At first, it had seemed nice here. If this is what death was... It wasn't painful, at least. But as time passed on, the emptiness in her grew more and more. She hadn't heard anymore music, hadn't felt anything at all since last time.

In all honesty, she wished that she wouldn't spend the rest of eternity here, in this empty blue world. She hoped it was just a passing-by; she _felt_ that this wasn't what complete death was. She knew there had to be something beyond this. It seemed like right now, all she was doing was waiting.

That's right. That's what she was doing. She knew she was waiting now. Waiting for more to pass on to her. Waiting for pieces of herself to come back.

Tears suddenly flowed out from her. It was strange - even though she didn't seem to have an actual body, she contained tears. And she held the vaguest feeling that the blue water here was composed of tears. People's tears. People who cared about her.

She couldn't contain these tears. She didn't even know why the tears had come all of a sudden. She just cried.

For how long she cried, she didn't know. It always felt like an eternity. Time didn't seem to exist in this place. But what stopped those tears was when she noticed a little white blotch in the distance. It certainly hadn't been there before. So she wipes her eyes, and gets up, slowly making her way to the mysterious white patch.

Again, it seemed to take forever, and yet it felt like she was there in almost an instant. When she arrives, it become evident that it is a paper or sorts. She picks it up, and there's ink on it. Most of the ink has been smudged so that the words were not legible, but she could make out several of the words.

 _'_ _'Dear Kaori,'_

Kaori... Kaori... She pondered over that word in her mind. She felt a piece of herself almost clicking into place, and yet couldn't figure out what that word meant to her. Kaori... Shaking her head, she decides to see what else she can make out of the writing.

 _'...music school... school for musicians..._ we _belong..._ _bursted..._

 _'...miss you... empty... Courage Bridge... refreshing..._

 _'spring... how...'_

That was all she could read. The rest had been blotted out by the water, turning into black flowers of ink on the page. Clutching the paper to her chest, she collapses into the water and lets loose the floodgates again.

She had been so close. _So close_. She knew that if she had taken notice of this paper earlier, seen its arrival, she might know more than what she knew now. A chance to know herself - gone, slipped between her fingers. The tears stream down her face openly; she didn't bother wiping them away, or doing anything to stop them, as she re-read the words she had. Even if it contained so little - even if it was insignificant. She knew something had to be hidden on there. Something that might make her move on.

 _Music school. Courage Bridge. Belong. Spring._ Something connected this all. She felt a faint tugging inside of her every time she read this. But nothing clicked - she was still as incomplete as a broken mirror. The glass of a broken mirror is nearly impossible to fit back together perfectly - there would always be little shards; little forgotten, unnoticed pieces, never to be picked up. The mirror, even if fixed, would still have cracks, would still miss pieces. Is this how she would end up as? A broken mirror, never to be fixed perfectly again?

* * *

In the distance, still unnoticed by the girl, the little sprout stood there, wavering. The only thing moving in this entire place. It fluttered gently in the unfelt breeze - looked as if it were about to grow, and yet unable to. Held back.

It wasn't allowed to grow just yet.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Honestly, there wasn't much direction for this chapter. But guys, seriously, thanks for the reviews from the guests (or single guest? not sure) and my best friend, really appreciated! And I just about died every time someone followed or favourited this story. Thanks so much!**

 **Please don't hesitate to review on which direction you want the story to go in! (Happy, satisfying, clichéd ending, or super sad?) I really want at least five people's thoughts... But if I don't have that many by my next break, I'll just go with whatever reviews I already have. Thanks guys!**

 ***Throws marshmallows out***


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

 **Heeeey again! Yeah, this was a slower update. Christmas season... gets really crazy. I was actually planning on publishing this yesterday. As you can see, that did not happen.**

 **Thanks guys for the reviews and faves and follows! Really, really appreciate it! I literally had a mini-freakout every time I got an email saying I got a new follow, fave, or review. PoofballKarma can testify to that. ^~^ So due to majority, I'm going with the happier ending... which is also the clichéd one, btw. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the anime or manga or characters.**

* * *

"Boo!"

A voice suddenly pierced the darkness, as well as his thoughts. Without turning his head, Kousei replied.

"Yes, Watari?"

A goofy smile passed over Watari's face, and he plopped himself down on the piano bench right next to Kousei.

"Watcha' doing? Been quite a while since I saw you in the piano studio," Watari said, holding out a little carton of milk to Kousei.

"Mmm..." was the noncommittal response as he accepted the milk.

"Mmm? _Mmm?!_ Is that all you've got to say, Kousei? Here we all thought you were getting better - moving on, little by little. We ourselves had all started moving on a bit too. Not forgetting, but moving on. We thought you had finally understood. So we didn't worry as much, and that made it easier for us too. Easier for us to live on. And yet, here you are, sitting at the piano, staring into space. Not even playing. Just star-" Watari was cut off from his oncoming lecture by a few quiet words from Kousei.

"I'm not 'just staring.' I'm... I'm trying to..."

* * *

"EEEH?! Kousei's _what_ now?!" Tsubaki stared at the phone she held in her hands as she bolted upright into a sitting position on her bed, not quite willing to believe what she had just heard.

"Yeah! I heard him say it, with my own ears!" Watari responded enthusiastically, the excitement evident in his voice even over the phone. "I couldn't quite believe him when he first told me either, so I asked him to say it again. And he said again, 'I'm trying to compose music.' I fell off the piano bench! Like seriously, after a month of not touching the piano, he goes and starts composing?! I mean, does he even compose?!"

"Yeah, at his skill level he would surely know, at the very least, the basics of composing. So it shouldn't be a problem, and I'm pretty sure he's composed smaller pieces before. But seriously, what's with him all of a sudden?" Tsubaki shook her head, and looked out the window facing Kousei's house. The house seemed mostly darkened inside, like it had always been.

"He didn't elaborate or anything. Just said that he's trying to compose, and then sorta went into a humming frenzy. So I just left him there, along with the breakfast I brought him. He's grown thinner this past month, don't you think?" Watari starting fretting about Kousei's health, while Tsubaki listened.

She chuckled lightly, and said, "I don't think Kousei was ever not-thin to begin with, Watari. He's never been the strongest, and was _always_ a wimp. Pffft..." Watari and Tsubaki both burst out in full-out laughed at their poor friend.

Then Watari's tone turned serious again.

"Do you think this is a step forward for him? Composing, I mean. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I can't really tell."

Tsubaki sighed as she too contemplated this thought. "I think... we'll just have to wait and see. It should be good, for the most part. I mean, he's back to music again! That's good, right? But if it takes a turn for the worse - if he's still obsessed with the past, that is - we'll... well, we'll cross that bridge when we have to."

Watari gave a little sound of relief, and replied, "Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Hey, speaking of bridges... It's been a couple hours since I've visited Kousei, hopefully he's in a better state than I had left him in. Wanna go drag him over to the bridge for a couple of jumps?"

"Whoop sure thing! Be at my house in five, I'll drag him out!" Tsubaki cried and jumped off her bed.

* * *

She had cried for another eternity. Well, everything seemed to be an eternity. She added more tears to the sea around her, though it barely made any difference. Nothing made a difference to the blue here. It was always blue.

The entire time, she held onto the little piece of paper. It had dissolved a little bit more each time it came into contact with the water, so she held onto it, not letting it touch the water if she could help it.

Because that paper was a part of herself. A part of her life.

* * *

Da. Daaa da daa.

Kousei's fingers tapped out a slight rhythm on the wooden tabletop, his eyes unfocused and staring into the distance, lost in his composing.

"... Kousei. ARIMA KOUSEI!" Tsubaki's shouting finally brought him out of the reverie he was in, and he snapped back to reality.

"Wha... huh? Yes?" Kousei had a slightly bewildered expression on his face, and his two best friends couldn't help but laugh lightly at him.

"Dear Kousei, we are ordering our food," Watari said, still chuckling. "What would you like?"

"Oh, er... I'll take these pancakes, please," Kousei said, pointing to the picture on the menu.

As the waiter walked off, Kousei took in his surroundings. He appeared to be in a café... He remembered being dragged out of his house by these two, them saying something about him needing "a change of scenery" and "some inspirational food" or something along those lines. They had first taken him out to the bridge - which sort of amused him, since they didn't know just how much he jumped off here. They probably thought he stayed holed up in his house all the time whenever he wasn't at school... which wasn't too far from the truth, but he still went out occasionally. Mainly to get groceries and have a couple jumps off the bridge.

After they had taken a couple jumps and splashed around for awhile, they had gone back to get changed. Watari had said they would be getting some food, and going to a café drenched in water was not the best idea. Besides, the wet clothes were cold and uncomfortable. Changing didn't take too long, and they headed straight to the café Watari had in mind.

And so he was here now, at that very café. As he took in more of his bearings, his eyes widened as Kousei realized exactly which café he was in. The memories flooding back also came with an onslaught of music. He took out a cute pink notebook out of his bag, and started scribbling madly in it. Watari and Tsubaki merely looked on at him with raised eyebrows.

 _What a coincidence. We ended up in the same café Kaori had dragged me to a while ago. That time when she made me play_ Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Kousei thought, while adding notes and crossing some out in the composing notebook.

"..." Tsubaki stared at the notebook, which was light pink and had a cute black cat on the cover. "...Kousei. Is that... a pink notebook? With a... cute black cat on the cover? Or am I just seeing things?" She said this in a slight disbelieving tone, as if unable to believe that her friend could own such a possession.

"Hmm?" Kousei looked up at her, then down at his notebook. "Er... Yeah, I guess it is..." he said in an absentminded voice.

"I always thought you were more of a blue person! You know - all calm and serene and serious. Not... pink! Because, I don't know, pink seems a bit too... frivolous, for Kousei," Tsubaki said, in a _very_ disbelieving tone. She was looking at Kousei as if he had just said he wanted to become a purple cloud and float up into the sky to join the other clouds.

Watari, who had been valiantly trying to hold in his laughter, finally gave up and burst out in full-out guffaws. "Kousei, Kousei, Kousei. Who knew I was friends with such a feminine - or in Tsubaki's words, _frivolous_ \- boy? Kousei, my dear boy, you should have told me that you had a soft spot for cute things! If I had known you liked this sort of stuff, I would have bought you a cute pink bag for your birthday! Your birthday's in three days, right? You should have told us you liked cute things! Dang it, I'll keep it in mind for next year - I already got your present. Or a girly cellphone strap! Ooooh, or maybe I can get you a cute cat shirt! Pffft..." Tsubaki soon joined in on his laughter and teasing, once she got over her initial shock.

"H-hey... It's... Well, I bought it a couple weeks ago," Kousei stammered out, his face a bright shade of pink that surpassed his notebook. "I passed by a stationary store, and saw this. And, w-well... It reminded me of her... so I couldn't help but buy it. And it was a composition notebook too! It's as if... well, I bought it," he finished lamely.

Once they were able to contain their laughter, they both looked at Kousei with teasing eyes. "We understand, Kousei," they chorused together. And then promptly burst into laughter again.

"Geez," he said, "What am I ever going to do with you two?" Hearing this, Watari pounced on Kousei, and winked at him with an arm around his shoulder.

"Yooooouuu know you love us though, right?" With another sigh and shake of his head, Kousei joined in on their laughter as their food arrived.

No one mentioned anything about Kousei's composing - if anything, they all seemed to be deliberately walking around the elephant (which may or may not happen to be pink, in this case) in the room.

* * *

After eating, they had gone for a walk around the neighbourhood, stopping briefly at the park they had played at quite often as little children. Watari had brought his soccer ball with him, and was constantly dribbling it and showing off, which got Tsubaki quite pissed off. At one point, Watari was dribbling and attempted to pass the pall to Tsubaki, but she kicked the ball so hard and so off-target that it had hit Kousei in the head instead of going back to Watari. Kousei, being the not-so-athletic type he was, passed out right then, right there - which happened to be in the middle of the sidewalk. This caused his friends to completely freak out, and they did everything they could think of to revive their poor friend - they shook him, squeezed his sides, slapped him, tickled him. They tried everything.

Finally, after receiving an accidental (or was it?) kick to the face from Tsubaki, Kousei spluttered back into the world of the conscious, and they finally decided that there had been enough excitement for one day. So the three of them headed back home, with the sun sitting low on the horizon.

After the three of them had all gone to their own homes that evening, they all watched as the sun gave way to stars through their own bedroom windows. The pink and gold sunset gradually turned to a velvety blue, spotted with millions and millions of white bright lights. The stars lit up the night sky - a beauty to behold. The wide expanse above them seemed to go on for forever - an endless blue mixed with dancing lights.

Pink had faded to blue in that sunset - in the same way, Kaori's legacy of music faded away, and was passed on to Kousei. And Kousei was like the night sky - filled with glittering hopes and dreams, containing beauties that can only be seen when one looks up.

His music had evolved once through his mother's death. But Kaori's death didn't make his music evolve and change - his music had been completely taken apart, unravelled.

And it was being reformed.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Thanks for reading! Constructive criticism is always welcome! Also... I was thinking about pairing Watari and Tsubaki up? Yes or no? Thanks again!**

 ***Throws out rainbow sprinkles***


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

 **Hi guys again! I'm so sorry that this was a slower update... But I wrote a little oneshot before this chapter, because inspiration hit me. It's the Assassination Classroom one... Anyway, I have delivered another chapter! Whoop! Also, I probably won't end up pairing Watari and Tsubaki up, at least not in this fic.  
**

 **Also: thanks to those who have reviewed, followed, and faved! To the guest(s?) who have been reviewing... thank you so much! I appreciate it, even if it's just for the food lel ;)**

 **Thanks to those who actually read A/Ns! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I still do not own Your Lie in April and its characters.**

 **[EDITED]**

* * *

Kousei sat on the park bench, looking around with a face that could be described as sorrow mingled in with contentment - among the many other ways you could describe it.

After all, it was a beautiful day; spring was coming full-on, and cherry blossoms were blooming right and left. You couldn't be _only_ sorrowful on a day like this. It would almost be a sin to be like that on such a fine and beautiful spring day.

But then again, it's hard for Kousei to be _completely_ not-depressed. It was springtime. And with this season comes along a lot of hurt and grief for Kousei. But there's still the joy, happiness, and colours associated with this season that makes everything slightly more bearable.

 _I met the girl under full-bloomed cherry blossoms and my fate has begun to change._

The sorrowful smile tugging at the edge of his mouth bloomed into a gentle laugh, as he remembered the first day he met Kaori again. He would _never_ have imagined that the very girl hitting him with the instruments would also be the one to change his life around. Never would he have thought that she would be the one who brought the sparkle to his eyes, and the colour back into his world.

And never would he have thought she would be the one to steal his heart.

Kousei also would not have imagined that he would only be able to spend one spring with the beautiful girl. He had taken her for granted - thought for sure that they would be together to see many springtimes to come.

There were so many feelings, he just wanted to close himself off to the world. But he had learned ways to cope with it. One of the ways was through music and composition. He hadn't tried much of that before, since he had focused on playing for competitions. Kousei had never incorporated actual _feelings_ into music before he had met Kaori. It was such a new experience for him, and he was't too good at it. Expressing his feelings had never be his forte - heck, he was so bad at it that he didn't realize he liked a girl until she _died_.

That was such a clichéd thing to think, as Nagi would have been quick to point out had she been here. But sometimes, a clichéd phrase is really the only way to describe how you're feeling. After all, a cliché comes to be because so many people have used such a phrase. It meant that many people had felt that way before. And now Kousei was just becoming one of the many people part of that cliché.

Thinking that thought, Kousei chuckled lightly to himself. And was promptly pushed off the bench, with a loud shout of "Boo!" coming from behind him.

Rubbing his behind, Kousei glared up at the intruder to his thoughts.

"Seriously, Watari? That _hurt._ " But his best friend merely laughed it off, and held a hand to Kousei to help him get up. Accepting the offer, he yanked himself up and brushed the dirt off his clothes.

"So. What are you doing here, Kousei? Spacing out again like that; what if someone snuck up on you and... ATTACKED YOU!" Watari emphasized those last words by playfully tackling Kousei, and ruffling up his hair.

"O-oi, stop that Watari!" But even while Kousei said so, a small grin was making its way onto his face, and he eventually gave up fighting it and started laughing along with Watari.

This was another way he coped; his friends. He was so thankful for these amazing idiots he called his best friends - namely Watari and Tsubaki. The three of them could practically read each other, and the various circumstances had brought them closer than ever. They might as well have been siblings, they way they bickered and joked together.

Kousei felt that, whenever he was with Watari or Tsubaki, there was nothing more in the world he could want. He was perfectly content with these two.

The only thing he would want to change about this was Kaori. He sincerely wished that she could have been here with them, to enjoy all this fun together. But Kousei pushed this thought away, and started chatting with Watari.

* * *

The pencil hit the table the same time Kousei's head did. He had gotten home from the park after chatting and fooling around with Watari for a bit. Well, it was mostly Watari fooling around with Kousei zoning out. They had parted ways when Watari realized that he had a date, so Kousei had headed home; it was getting late anyway. He had been preparing to make dinner when all of a sudden, music notes started running through his head in a frenzy. Kousei knew that it would prove to be futile if he resisted the pull of music, so he set down the bowl and made his way to his study. There he had been scribbling down the melody, note after note, for a good forty to fifty minutes, and he was finally done with this tide of music. As always, the latest bout of composing had left him exhausted.

When he had first taken up the idea of composing, he never would have thought that it would be so draining. It felt like he couldn't even control himself - whenever he was suddenly inspired, he had to write it down. Kousei was quickly becoming a slave to his music - and he was scared of being lost forever here. It felt like his soul and heart was being taken out, bit by bit, until they were both laid bare on the paper, in the form musical notes.

This feeling scared him, and yet exhilarated him. He wanted to fight it, but he wanted to succumb to it. Music was a powerful bond, a powerful master. And Kousei was chained to it, slave to it.

Every burst hit him as suddenly as if he had tripped and fallen into a pit of inspiration - and he couldn't get back out of its grasps until he had fulfilled its exact wishes.

Kousei now had a little over seven pages, filled with his musical composition. This was the work of a week and a bit - and to be honest, he was already exhausted. When he composed, he didn't take breaks before he could finish the new tide of notes. Kousei didn't eat, drink water, or go out at all while he was in a fit of musical frenzy, until the newest burst of inspiration ebbed away. Sometimes, it would only be a single line, or a couple of measures; those were easy to handle, and only took a couple minutes to finish. Other times though, he wasn't too lucky. Two of the seven pages had been written in one go, and that had taken him a good four or five hours.

He continued sitting there like that, with his head on the tabletop. His most recent flood of inspiration had just passed by, and as usual, it always left him drained and exhausted. This time he was lucky - it was less than half a page, about four lines, almost five. This had taken him a good portion of an hour though, and he was hungry - he still hadn't finished making the dinner he had started earlier. Yet he was so drained of energy that he just couldn't seem to find the will to get up and go find some food. So he continued lying there, thinking things through.

 _Is this what 'love' is? If so, isn't it more like a bondage? People always paint it so that love seems like a beautiful thing - like a flower, all nice and innocent and sweet. But I'm feeling like this is more like a deep, dark tunnel - the farther you go in, the more uncertain it gets, and you're never sure where the end is. Eventually you go in so far you can't even see the opening of the tunnel - can't see the beginning. At that point, you have two choices; you can turn back around, and search for the entry again, hoping that you can find it - or rather, hoping that it's still there. Or you can continue forward, into the uncertain future. I-I... think I'll choose to go forward. After all, there's nothing left behind me - my past is all pain and death. Surely, if I strive forward... I can see a better, more hopeful future. I don't think anything can be darker than what was behind me. Unless, by some cruel joke of fate, they took away Watari and Tsubaki... But honestly, I don't want to think about that._

 _Oh. I'm looking down again, Kaori. I'm sorry._ Kousei grinned a bit without moving from his position. Thinking about Kaori always seemed to make him show some sort of emotion unconsciously. He always ended up laughing, smiling, or - occasionally - crying to himself. He finally dragged his face off the tabletop, but still didn't look up. _Sometimes, looking down is all you can do. Looking up can make you feel small. Almost as if you don't exist. Everything up there is so big, so vast. And so far away. It's something unattainable to us while we live. I bet if Kaori heard me say that, she would have replied, '_ Then _make_ it something attainable! Looking down will never get you the unattainable - if you look up, it just makes it that much more attainable!' _...or something along those lines. It's crazy. Even though I knew her for less than a year, she still took over my life. I feel as if I know her just as well as I know Watari and Tsubaki. And I've known those two for more years than I care to remember._

Kousei slowly crawled out of his chair, his limbs and muscles aching and groaning in protest. He decided to go out for a walk, just to clear up his head a little. He felt like he was turning into an old man already, what with his bones protesting against him even getting up out of a chair. This thought amused him more than it should have.

Hands in his pockets to keep them warm, he strolled about the neighbourhood at a leisurely pace - it was getting late, closing in to ten o'clock. The sun had set a while ago, and the moon and stars were out shining brightly.

Kousei finally decided to look up, and was pleasantly surprised by the wide array of twinkling and blinking stars shining down upon him. He paused, just looking up at the beauty displayed in the heavens, and sang quietly to himself.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder who you are."

Looking up was a good thing, after all. _Let's reach for the unattainable together, Kaori. We'll make the unattainable completely within our grasp. Nothing can stop us - not even death. I'll just convey your wishes through music. That, in and of itself, is one of your wishes come true already, isn't it? I'm continuing with music, evolving and growing and changing with each step I take forward. But I'm not doing it alone - no, there's still a piece of you here. I'll lay that piece into the music, and this time, this time... It will definitely reach you. No matter where you are. I'll make this piece reach you._

And as he continued to look up, it may have just been his imagination, but Kousei was sure he saw for a fleeting moment the face of the beautiful girl, twinkling and winking at him amidst all the stars in the heavens.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Thanks for reading again! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter written and posted soon. Feel free to correct my grammar and/or spelling... I try to read it over, but it is inevitable that I will spell something wrong and miss it. I don't have a beta reader... If anyone feels like it, they can ask? I'm not sure how all that works though...**

 **Anyway, thanks again, and cyall later!**

 ***Throws out lollipops***


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

 **Hey everyone again! So sorry that this update was really slow, but I left my laptop open at school and some obnoxious dude decided to force-quit all my windows - also deleting my unsaved chapter. So I had to rewrite most of it... But I'm satisfied, more or less, with the way this chapter turned out. Different from how I had planned it the first time, but oh well. ^~^**

 **Also, another reason why this chapter took longer was because I changed a bit of the previous chapter. Special thanks to Primrose Angel, who helped me see some of my own mistakes! Though I can't say I changed much, I tried to improve the last chapter a bit. I took out a part from the last chapter and managed to incorporate into this chapter. In case any of you think that this chapter is repetitive. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favourited! I love you all! Aaaaaand this ends my super-long A/N!**

 **Enjoy!~**

 **Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Your Lie in April or any of the characters. Though I would love to... ;)**

* * *

There had been notes floating around her for a while. She couldn't tell if the notes were merely sound, or if they were inscribed into the air around her - all she knew was the she was enveloped in music. And because of this music, she was remembering.

She remembered that the boy's name was Kousei. She remembered that he had been dubbed 'Friend A' by her. She knew Kousei had been a big part of her life.

And one thing she had known for sure since the start - they were bound together by music.

The music surrounding her was nonsensical; the notes were just suspended there, as if waiting to be strung together into something meaningful. They were bits and pieces, nothing coherent. Without knowing how she did it, at one point she had managed to string together several notes. She knew that certain notes needed to be put together - and the instant she touched upon those notes, they formed a memory.

 _Kousei was playing the piano with a little girl at a café. She herself was playfully conducting and singing along, and the children's faces were filled with happiness. Then Kousei started going into another tune, and just as everyone started noticing... He stopped playing._

That was all she had of that memory, but it was still meaningful. The few notes that she had touched upon had been... tied together in a sense - it still wasn't necessarily visible, and yet she could still see it. It was difficult to explain - almost as if she could see the energy of the music in the air itself. The best way she could think to describe that feeling was as if there were threads of musical energy crossing over each other everywhere, throbbing with contained sound. They were there as a feeling, and not something you see with your naked eyes. You had to _feel_ them. She tugged at several them unconsciously, and they all fell into place around her. Almost as if a bubble had been burst, the contained sounds escaped the threads that she had pulled at, and a short little melody erupted all around her.

She listened in wonderment as the beautiful music sounded out, but it lasted only a moment. It was far too short to be complete, and she knew she would have to string the rest of the threads together to make an end result.

The more she pulled and weaved and tugged, the more music erupted around her. There were times when it was only a short melody, only a bar or so long. But there were also other times when she couldn't stop herself and she strung and wove enough music to fill up two sheets of music. Each time she added another part to the composition - if that's what you could call it - another memory blossomed within her.

She had expected to feel more and more solid every time she gained a memory, but was surprised to find that she was feeling just about the opposite.

The girl was, in fact, fading away. Yet this didn't scare her much, because she herself was feeling more and more complete. It was almost like she was _meant_ to fade away.

She laughed out loud to herself, because that thought was almost too much for her. If she were to really fade away after this - whatever _this_ was - she didn't know if she wanted to continue. But she didn't even know her own name yet - and that was another thought that entertained her for a while. You would think that the first memory would be of your name - but that wasn't her case. She still had no idea who she was - most of her memories were just of that boy called Kousei.

She remembered that time she had played the imaginary violin in this place - the time she had seemed to reach past death. It was almost surreal, and yet she never denied the thought that it was possible to go beyond death. Her means to do so was etched deep in music - the music that was resounding within her. When she had played her violin past death, it was only the first step to realizing who she was. She had evolved from playing already-manipulated music, to manipulating the music herself.

This sort of music would reach _way_ past death - it would truly live. She knew that somehow, her music would reach the living world. She would defy all odds. She would pass on her and Kousei's legacies through this piece of music.

She had also noticed something unusual as she was stringing the threads of music. There was a little blossom blooming in the water - it was such a strange thing to see in this area of endless blue. She didn't think anything could even grow in this near-desolate place, but that little sprout had shown her otherwise.

When she had first noticed it, it was but a mere sprout that barely reached her knees. But as time kept progressing - she knew not whether time even moved forward in this place - she observed that it was growing. It didn't grow at a natural pace, nor at a continuous one. In the time she had noticed it, the little sprout had become a small tree that was a bit taller than her. It grew in spurts and bursts - and she had come to the realization that it grew every time more music was formed and she received another memory.

There were little pale pink and white flowers on the branches - almost like snowflakes. It was a beautiful tree. And she wanted to see it in full-bloom.

* * *

 _Bzzt bzzt. Bzzt bzzt._

Kousei vaguely heard the vibrations that alerted him to several new texts, but he was so immersed in the music that he completely ignored his phone. He hand wrote on its own, as if it wasn't Kousei who was in charge but the pen - the music - that was in charge. He probably wouldn't be able to stop writing to pick up his phone even if he wanted to, so he didn't even try. As he wrote the music, he could hear it all around him. As if it wasn't just being written onto the pen and paper, but being inscribed into his very being, and into the very air around him. As if the music was in the air itself.

His reverie was suddenly halted as something hit the back of his head and he yelped, dropping his pen to rub the back of his head. Groaning, Kousei realized that a shoe had landed on his desk, and quickly deduced that the shoe was probably the cause for the pain. But how in the world had it hit his head? As far as Kousei could remember, shoes didn't fly. He was still mulling over whether or not shoes could now fly (he was still in shock from the fact that a shoe had hit him in the head in the first place) when the sound of laughter erupted from behind him. Sighing, Kousei realized he should have known from the beginning that these would be the antics of his best friends.

"Kousei, your face was priceless!" Watari managed to squeeze out between his laughing. "I wish I could have caught that face on camera!"

Tsubaki was also laughing, and Kousei noticed that she was missing a shoe. Which probably meant that the shoe sitting on his desk right now - which was also the shoe that hit him in the head, Kousei thought - belonged to the brunette girl.

"That wasn't funny... It hurt!" Kousei groaned in defence. "And besides, why would you throw a shoe? Couldn't you have thrown a baseball or something? Or better yet, just don't throw anything at all next time!"

Smirking, Watari replied, "So you'd prefer for us to throw a harder object than a shoe? Gotcha', we won't disappoint next time!" Turning to Tsubaki, he asked, "Why _didn't_ you throw a baseball?"

"I threw my shoe because I didn't have a baseball on me," Tsubaki retorted. "I wasn't aware of the fact that I should keep a baseball on me at all times. And Kousei, throwing a shoe wasn't the first thing we tried to do to get your attention. We both sent over about eight million texts, but you seemingly ignored them all. So we both became worried and rushed over here, thinking you were in fatal danger or something. And it turns out you're just writing! So we tried to catch your attention - we must have screamed your name a million times, but it was almost as if you were deaf. So I threw my shoe." Tsubaki ended her long explanation, and Watari burst out laughing again.

"'So I threw my shoe.' That's the first thing you think of when we can't catch someone's attention? You're an interesting girl, I'll give you that," was Kousei's bitter response.

"Hey! I didn't have anything else on me, and I'd rather not throw my phone! Unless you promise to pay for it, which I doubt. Let's see you come up with a better solution," Tsubaki said with a glare pointed at both of the boys.

"Anyway Kousei, can you at least _read_ the texts next time and send over even just _one_ reply? We really were worried, you know? We thought you were, I don't know, drowning in the bathtub, or like, you got into a fight with a kitten and lost," Watari said jokingly, though his concern was evident on his face.

"So the two of us came over here to be your saviour from the bathtub and/or the little kitten! And that concludes the story as to why I threw my shoe and why both of us are even here in the first place."

Kousei stared at the two of them, unsure of what to say. He didn't even know how to react - was he supposed to laugh, or was he supposed to comfort them? And not to mention the fact that they thought he would drown while taking a bath, or would lose a fight with a kitten.

 _Kaori liked cats..._ That thought sprung up on him so suddenly, he didn't quite know what to think of it. So he brushed it off, and said, "It's fine, I'm not drowning at the moment, as you can tell! Anyway, I'm hungry. I'll make some lunch for us to eat, how does that sound?"

Watari smiled brightly, and said, "Sure thing, sounds great!" And he bounded out the room, following Kousei into the kitchen.

But Tsubaki lingered behind a bit, noticing the notebook Kousei had left open on his desk. She could make out music notes scribbled hastily onto the paper, and smiled a bit. Kousei was making progress with his composition, and she was happy for him. Tsubaki had promised herself to support Kousei in his musical endeavours, through any means possible. Even if it was just to talk with him about the most random things, to cheer him up. As she was about to exit the room, she glanced out the window and noticed that the sun had set.

Frowning a bit, she realized something.

 _Kousei said he was going to make some lunch... But it's already past eight pm. Either he's being his usual absentminded self... or this is really his second meal of the day. Is he eating properly?! Watari said that Kousei was starting to look thinner, but I had brushed it off. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to think that was only Watari's imagination. But what if Kousei's really forgetting to eat because of this music? Is this still something we should both support Kousei in doing? Is this really Kousei moving on, or staying in the past?_

Trying to shake off her worries, she closes the door behind her as she goes to find her two best friends in the kitchen.

* * *

"Bye Kousei! We'll come again tomorrow, since it's Sunday... Mind if we stay for the whole day? We don't have anything better to do," Watari said cheerfully.

"Yeah sure, come over anytime... I think I'm free the whole day. See you two tomorrow then!" Kousei waved at the two brunettes, and shut the door.

Watari and Tsubaki walked down the street together, chatting about the most random things. Even though Tsubaki lived right next door, she walked Watari to his house, so they could talk a bit more. It seemed as if the two of them hadn't talked about anything other than Kousei lately, and it was nice to talk about their own daily lives.

Suddenly, Watari brought up something that much more serious than their previous mindless chatter. Which meant that it would, of course, involve Kousei.

"Oi Tsubaki. Do you know what meal we just ate at Kousei's place?"

A little surprised at the sudden change of topic, Tsubaki blinked and said, "Dinner."

"Yeah. But Kousei said it was lunch, and didn't seem to realize how late it was. I didn't say anything, hoping it was just him being oblivious. You don't think that was his second meal of the day, do you?" Watari was trying to keep up the appearance of being unworried, but his words revealed just how concerned he was for their friend's well-being.

Tsubaki didn't answer for a minute, staring down at the ground. Eventually she spoke up again.

"I... I'd rather not think he's skipping meals. But yeah, that thought's also occurred to me," she admitted truthfully.

They both walked on in companionable silence again, until Watari spoke up again.

"He's changing. Our Kousei is changing."

Tsubaki looked up sharply at Watari, her eyes slightly alarmed. "What do you mean?"

"When we were talking in the kitchen... I almost felt like I was talking to someone that wasn't Kousei. He's... maturing, in a sense." Watari had a thoughtful look on his face, pondering the changes Kousei was seemingly going through.

"I think I get what you mean. Sure, he's been opening up to us a bit more lately. But at the same time, I feel like he's more distanced than ever. I don't know if it's because of his music, or some other reason. And I can't tell if this is a good change or a bad change either," Tsubaki said quietly.

"If it's not music, then what can it be?" At this point, Watari's eyes opened wide and he gasped dramatically. "You don't think it's another... _girl_ , is it?!"

"What?! No, that can't be possible!" Tsubaki was so shocked at this thought, that she reflexively kicked out at her best friend. The notion of Kousei loving another girl both hurt Tsubaki and entertained her at the same time.

"Ow ow ow! I was joking, _joking,_ Tsubaki!" Watari wailed while rubbing his shin. "You kick really hard, you know that? You should join soccer instead of baseball, you'd be able to pack a nice long kick!"

Glaring at Watari, she huffed and walked on ahead of him.

"Anyway, this is where we part ways... I'll see you tomorrow then?" Watari said, pointing at his house.

"Yeah, just text me when you're heading over to Kousei's place. See you tomorrow!" With that, Tsubaki turned to head back in the direction of her house, and Watari watched her disappearing figure, thinking about their conversation.

Once she was out of sight, he unlocked the front door and headed up to his room, thinking about what Tsubaki had said. It was true - Kousei did seem to be opening up more, but staying more distant than before. How someone could be both at the same time was beyond Watari, but he felt as if he could sympathize with Kousei.

Hah, but Watari preferred not to think just complicated thoughts - he was a simple man, after all. He lived, breathed, and slept soccer - and the occasional girls.

But it was an undeniable fact that humans were deep creatures... There's always so much more going on than what you can see on the surface at first glance. Call him shallow if you must, but Watari preferred to keep most relationships at a surface level - unless it was his best friends. The rest of the time, he hid himself deep down under the surface. Kept up the appearance of a simple man.

Watari preferred to leave the deep thinking to the others.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Thanks for reading! Please do not hesitate to point out mistakes (constructive criticism please), but don't be too harsh please!~ Until next time, my dear readers! Here, have some mochi this time! *** **Throws out mochi***


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**

 **Hey guys! Sorry this was such a slow update... But hey, I tried to make up for it with an extra-long chapter. Just so you guys know, this ISN'T the last chapter. There will be one last chapter after this, but just a shorter one and it will be more like an epilogue. This is the longest chapter of this fic, since it's sort of the finale. Anyway, enjoy this second-last chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I did not own Your Lie in April last chapter and I still don't own it.**

* * *

Kaori danced around the blue space, plucking at the music and stringing it all together. At one point she had regained most of her memories, though a lot of them were unclear or fuzzy. She'd finally remembered her name, but all that seemed trivial now. Kaori needed to finish this masterpiece.

In a way, it was like weaving a tapestry. Pull this string this way, weave this colour in, add in this thread - and in the end, it all forms a beautiful picture, all part of one big piece. All the single threads of colour - all of them were woven together to form one thing at the end. It was amazing in and of itself.

Kaori never seemed to grow faint in this place - she moved on tirelessly, continuously stringing all the music together. Pure bliss thrummed through her as she wove together the music she had so loved when she was alive. This was different from when she played another composer's work, trying to convey herself through someone else's piece. This was her _own_ piece; she was free to do whatever she wanted. _Anything_ could be done when she was the composer. Nothing seemed so far-fetched that it was impossible. Kaori thought that she might even be able to reach Kousei again by using this music. She _knew_ that she was reaching him already.

She wasn't just randomly stringing together the music however she wanted to make a pretty picture. Kaori had a goal for all this; it wasn't just doing whatever she wanted to the music just because she _could_ , though those were all valid enough reasons to compose. Her goal for this piece - the objective that she most wanted to convey - was a remembrance of love. In the living world, there was a lot of pain and hurt and suffering, rejection and grief and loss. The dark splotches of the oppressing feelings seemed to take over anything and everything, but all you needed to do, sometimes, was to remember love. Happiness, hope, and love could always be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

Kousei, in spite of everything, still found love. Even after all that death, pain, and grief, he could still love. Kaori didn't know how he was doing after her death; she hoped he was doing okay, moving on. If she ever found out that he was acting all depressed, Kaori would find a way to kick him up to the skies.

Somewhere deep inside, Kaori knew that Kousei was fine. After all, he still had music. He had music, friends, and most importantly - love.

* * *

Kousei stared at the pencil lying on top of the small pile of papers on his desk. He couldn't believe it.

The composition was done. Finished. Completed. It wasn't planned or anything - heck, none of this music was planned. It all came spontaneously to him. But it ended so suddenly. He hadn't known what the ending would be like, hadn't even _thought_ about ending the music. It was a feeling that could be compared to waking from a pleasant, tumbling and fast-paced dream and realizing that the dream had ended, and would not be continued. The music just _stopped._ No more notes came from his pencil, and he knew that no more would be coming out of it. At least, not for this song. But it didn't stop in a way that felt unsatisfying. Kousei knew that this was how it was supposed to end.

The ending was an open cadence. An open cadence always sounded incomplete, and normally you wouldn't end an entire piece like that. But this song was supposed to end this way; after all, it wasn't the end yet. It only the end of the beginning. The beginning of the end.

Now that the piece is finished, Kousei knew what he had to do. He picked up his phone, and started calling around.

* * *

Kaori stood there, staring into the space above the blue beneath her. It was beautiful. The strings and threads of musical energy, all converged into the final masterpiece of a tapestry contained of music - it was beautiful, and it seemed alive as it hummed and pulsated with the musical life interwoven into the threads.

The bottom threads weren't tied off; they were left open, so it could be added to. But Kaori knew that _she_ would not be adding any more to this artwork. Her work here was finished, and she had to pass on the baton. But first, the music needed to be played.

The blond glanced over at the tree blooming to the side. It was flowering, and it was heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

Once a flower blooms, it will eventually have to pass on and make way for the next flower.

* * *

"Uh, Kousei? Why are we here? And why are Aiza-kun and Igawa-san here too?" Tsubaki glanced around her questioningly, very confused.

Kousei had called everyone that meant something to his musical life - though it took a bit of asking around to get Takeshi and Emi's numbers. But they had all shown up, and he was glad from the bottom of his heart. It had been on such short notice, too. They were all gathered now in the music studio at his school. All of them.

Tsubaki. Watari. Takeshi. Emi. Nagi. Hiroko-san. Hiroko's daughter, Koharu.

"Hey, why're you looking at me like that? I didn't want to come, but Nagi found out that Kousei wanted me to come. And I didn't want to refuse my little sister's request," Takeshi said defensively when he noticed weird looks being thrown his and Emi's way. Nagi glared at her older brother, albeit a tad half-heartedly. Takeshi continued, "Though the reason why Emi is here should be obvious. It's been quite clear that she li-"

Takeshi was cut off my a quick jab in the ribs by Emi, who turned to the rest and said, "Well, it's not every day that your rival invites a whole group of people to his place. I figured that whatever it was, it must be interesting. So here I am." She finished talking with a nonchalant shrug, and crossed her arms in a casual manner.

"So, what's the big deal, Kousei? I don't remember seeing your face so excited for quite a while. You made it seem like you found a mine full of diamonds over the phone and didn't know what to do with it," Hiroko said teasingly, and Watari snickered in the background.

"I, er, well..." Kousei rubbed the back of his neck shyly as he stuttered. It was a lot more nerve-wracking, but the idea had seemed good at first. "Well, you see... Some of you know this already, but I started taking up composing recently?" He said it like a question, as if he was unsure of the statement himself.

There was a silence that engulfed the room for a couple seconds as everyone processed what Kousei had said. Well, Tsubaki and Watari were silently giggling behind their hands at everyone's reactions - particularly the ones from the Aiza family.

Takeshi looked like he had lost all control of his jaw, and his younger sister Nagi almost choked on her own saliva. Emi stared at Kousei like he had suddenly grown a purple watermelon out the side of his head. Hiroko raised her eyebrows and looked quite shocked, and her daughter - being too young to fully understand too much - laughed lightly and clapped.

Emi was the first to recover from the initial surprise, and she broke the shocked silence.

"Compose? As in, writing your own music? That you... ya'know, _play_?" She asked incredulously.

Surprisingly, it was Watari who replied to this. He barked out a laugh, and said, "No Igawa-san, he meant compose as in _eating_ music sheets. Totally not creating his music. Nope, what even made you think that?" Watari continued laughing, until Tsubaki elbowed him to stop, whispering a harsh, "Watari that's _rude_ , don't scare off Kousei's guests."

After a while of awkward silence, in which the guests were thinking over Kousei's earlier statement, until Hiroko finally spoke up.

"Well, let's hear it. That's what you invited all of us here for, right? You wanted an audience, you got one. We'll listen. Come one, don't be shy now." Grinning, Hiroko pushed Kousei to the piano bench, and everyone huddled around the piano. Tsubaki and Watari sat on the ground on either side of Kousei, and Hiroko-san pulled a chair seemingly out of thin air, which she plopped herself and her daughter down on to the right of the piano. Nagi clambered to be as close as possible to her dear teacher, but ended up sitting on the ground next to Hiroko and her daughter. Takeshi and Emi both opted to stand a little further back, as they didn't feel quite as close to Kousei as the others probably did.

Looking at his audience a bit nervously, Kousei said, "E-er, I guess I'll start then? Oh, do you guys want a title or name or something?"

There was a chorus of sure's and yeah's, so Kousei answered them a bit hesitantly. "I hadn't really thought about it much, but I guess I can call it... 'Please Remember.' Composed by... Kaori, and written down by myself." As he said that, he realized it was true. It became so painfully obvious to him that it had been Kaori all along who was leading him into this composing; no one else would pull Kousei this forcibly into composing other than that stubborn blond. Several glances were shared among the people around Kousei, but no one said anything, so Kousei started playing.

He seemed like an entirely different person when playing the piano. It was obvious that he was in his element while playing, and Kousei's style had changed drastically from the previous 'human metronome' style.

The piece started off with a pure, simple melody. It bore a resemblance to 'Twinkle, Twinkle', and yet it was his own song completely. Even such an easy melody was overflowing with colour and emotion. The simple line quickly turned into a whirlwind of notes, blowing everyone away. Colours and feelings poured out of the music, mixed into a whirlwind of everything that meant something to Kousei. The sound the piano was producing was the sound that everyone had helped him find and build upon.

The sound his mother gave to him, and the sound that he evolved from. The sound that Watari made him notice, and the sound he built everything upon. The sound that Tsubaki found for him, and the sound he kept. The sound that was born out of his battles with Aiza and Igawa, and the sound that he used to push them to and beyond their limits. The sound that he and Nagi created together, and the sound that he inspired her with. The sound that Hiroko-san made him remember, and the sound that he would remember for the rest of his living days.

There was a message in all this beautiful music - a different message for everyone.

To Tsubaki and Ryouta, this piece told the story of Kousei's love that had been lost, but was found again upon meeting a certain blond. Simultaneously, they realized that this had been a good experience for Kousei; they both knew that this was his way of coping, and if the two of them had tried stopping him, it would have done more harm than good. Through this music, they both came to know that Kousei had truly moved on and was no longer stuck in the past. Their dear friend was playing this as a final reminder to himself of his previous life - a farewell to that life, and a welcoming of the path laid before him.

To Takeshi, this piece seemed to be very alike to Kousei's last performance they had heard, the one that he had accused Kousei of turning into a confession. But as the piece unveiled more and more of its secrets, more and more of its contained memories, Takeshi became aware that this was drastically different from that last performance in all the smallest ways. While the love was still in there, Kousei was no longer confessing that love to the special person in his life. This love was for everyone listening, and he was saying goodbye to the earlier love. Kousei was leaving his previous way of love, and taking a bold step forward onto a new road that was bound to be full of love.

To Emi and Nagi, this piece was an invitation, inviting them on a journey. A journey into uncharted waters, using all the courage they had. They would have to step out into unknown places in order to even _begin_ catching up to Kousei, and he was inviting them to go. To join him on this journey of music, one that would last a lifetime. Put your everything into music - pour out your heart and soul into what you have, and let your music do the speaking.

To Hiroko and her daughter, this piece was a reassurance to them. Kousei would be able to let go and evolve, and this was a promise to Hiroko that he would be okay. Kousei _had_ to be okay.

To Kousei himself, this piece was a compilation of all his most trivial yet unforgettable memories - when his mother had held him as a child, telling him to play the piano as if he were stroking a baby. His mother who gave him this amazing ability for music, the one who had trained him to be his very best and only wanted the best for him.

His two best friends, and the times they had spent together just goofing about. The countless times Tsubaki had broken a window at school with a baseball, and Kousei having to bail her out. Watari handing him a container of milk while offering him love advice. The way both of them had stuck with him, helping him through some of the most difficult times of his life. The times he had ignored their invites to go out because he had been too consumed with his music, and yet they still came looking for him. When Tsubaki had discreetly asked him if he happened to be writing letters to Kaori, and when he had admitted to it, she hadn't stopped him - though he did end up stop writing to her - because of this crazy composing that he had started. She didn't laugh, either. All the times Watari and Tsubaki had dragged him over to Courage Bridge, just to clear their minds and have some fun.

Other memories involved a lot more of Kaori - when she had appointed him to be her accompanist. The miracle that happened on the snowy day out on the roof of the hospital. The two of them shopping together, buying tons of cutesy items. The two of them jumping off Courage Bridge. All the times she had forced him to practice, even against his will. The way she could be the devil incarnate one moment and a sweet little angel the next never ceased to amaze Kousei.

The opening theme of the song had been tribute to the times the two of them - Kousei and Kaori - had bonded over the song 'Twinkle, Twinkle.' That first time at the café, when she found out why he quit piano. That time late at night, when the two of them rode on a bike under the stars singing off-tune. They were all trivial, day-to-day scenes. But it was always the most trivial scenes that were so unforgettable, wasn't it?

About halfway through the song, Kousei felt another presence enter the room.

 _"Kousei, you're looking down again! Stop looking down! Keep looking up... That's the secret of life!"_

Kousei's eyes widened, and he snapped his head towards the doorway while continuing to play. There was no one there. All of a sudden, he felt a hand tipping his chin upwards, and Kousei almost stopped playing out of shock. Kaori was standing right in front of him, on top of the piano. Her blond hair blew about her in an unseen wind, and a radiant smile was upon her face. Kaori seem to be emanating light from her very body, and her presence gave off hope and joy and love.

This couldn't be happening. It had to be his own imagination, or something this song had triggered within him. She couldn't possibly be there. She was _dead_.

And yet Kousei didn't seem to be the only person who saw her. Watari was the second person to notice her, and he gaped at her like a fish out of water. So clearly, Kousei wasn't hallucinating. Or maybe he was, and Watari was hallucinating along with him. Either way didn't really seem to matter; what mattered most was that she was _here_ , against all the odds. It didn't take long for the others to notice her - after all, it is quite difficult to not see her, as she balanced boldly on top of the piano. No one commented on anything relating to her position; they all knew that however she had managed to get up on the piano, it wouldn't hurt the instrument in any way.

Grinning - and he would deny it later, but maybe Kousei got just a _little_ bit teary upon seeing her - Kousei spoke up gently.

"And who said that was the secret of life?"

 _"Snoopy!"_ Kaori was grinning ear to ear as she pulled a violin out of nowhere, and, right on top of the piano, joined Kousei in playing the piece. She didn't need a sheet or anything to play by. She _knew_ this song. She _was_ the one who wove it together.

Everyone listening suddenly perked up a bit; Kousei wasn't playing alone anymore. They all realized, in fact, that Kousei had never been alone in this piece to begin with. There had always been someone there with him, guiding him along this piece, playing with him. Violin and piano merged into one sound, a beautiful, overflowing sound that filled the hearts of everyone present and connected them to each other.

The ground and walls gradually faded into the background, giving way to a wide blue expanse. They were still in the room and the studio was still there, but the room had been transformed into the place where Kaori had resided for the past while. The two worlds had come together, meeting in the middle. Beads of light filled the room, and Hiroko's daughter giggled, running around and trying to catch a bead in her little hands. The cherry blossom tree stood proudly, in full-bloom and flowering. Petals and flowers flew every which way, and created soft clouds around them. Everyone was staring around them in wonder and awe - it was as if they had been transported into another world, a world that only contained beauty and music and love.

Kousei knew where this was, and only threw another sad grin at Kaori. He knew he would be truly bidding farewell to her this time, but he would cherish his last moments with her. Kaori grinned back at Kousei, and started laughing. She began playing wild, free melodies on her violin, throwing all her cares to the wind and enjoying her last performance with her beloved Kousei.

Tsubaki and Watari looked at each other, still not quite believing this. For all they knew, they could all be dreaming the same dream. But the two of them chose to enjoy this dream together, and they stood up and started dancing wildly around the piano and Kaori, laughing and smiling without a care in the world. Kaori continued playing in her passionate fashion, putting her entirety into this one last piece.

The composition reached a playful, energetic point, and Kousei played with fervent energy, throwing himself and immersing himself into the music. Kaori used _pizzicato_ to convey the cute, playful side of this part - it was like a cat, constantly just out of her reach, playfully letting her get closer but running away at the last moment. She herself was dancing alongside to the music, enjoying every second of this. It was all building up to the climax, to the peak of the song. At the very peak, all the memories they had made together came spiralling and crashing down to them both, and Kousei gasped under the enormity of it all. This whole situation had long since become beyond his understanding, and he gave up trying to comprehend what was happening. He just went with the flow.

Takeshi, Nagi and Emi were all swept away by the impossibility that all this could be happening, but found themselves enjoying it nonetheless. The music was beautiful, and even though they had little part to do in the memories being clearly conveyed in this composition, they were still touched by the love that was clearly flowing out of it. Kousei had finally found - and kept - his own sound. The sound that everyone had helped him with.

Twilight was soon approaching this once-eternally-blue world. The world that Kaori had spent with her music was finally coming to an end, and the sun would have to set. She would have to depart and move on, as would Kousei. The blue turned to a bright, fiery combination of the red, pink, yellow, and orange in a beautiful sunset, which gradually sank to the mellow greens, blues and yellows of twilight. The piece was about to come to a close, and all of them knew it.

"It's fine, you know. I bought you canelés when you pestered me for them. You called me to kill time. I was your 'Friend A'. We experienced all that together. We loved each other, and that was already more than enough. I think I've realized that already. This time... This time, I think I can let you go. This time, we said a proper goodbye. I had fun, Kaori. Thank you for giving me a chance to love again. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

 _"Bye, Kousei."_ The violin part gradually faded out, and Kaori regarded Kousei one last time and smiled a brilliant smile before taking one step out of the room and vanishing with the blossoms.

The piano part continued, unhurried, slowing to a close. Kousei wasn't chasing after Kaori this time. He let her go, truly, once and for all. He would continue to live a life moving on from the past, but still carrying a piece of it in his heart.

Carrying a piece of _Kaori_ in his heart. The song came to a conclusion, leaving off with an open ending.

After all, it wasn't truly the end yet.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Aaaaand that's the end of another chapter! Only one more chapter after this... *sniffles* Hope you enjoyed this! Feel free to give constructive criticism, and any parts you think I could improve on. Thanks for reading!**

 **Let's see, what shall I give my readers this time... How about some macarons this time? *Throws macarons out***

 **Until next time!~**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**

 **As promised, here's the last short chapter! This is more of a short little epilogue, if you will; the last chapter was the big finale. I thought it would be appropriate to end with a letter, though - and this also started with a letter! ^~^**

 **This was my first fanfic, and it was a really fun to write. It has come to an end... Thank you so much for all of your support! It made me enjoy writing the chapters that much more! Enjoy this final chapter!~**

 **Disclaimer: To the very end, I do not own Your Lie in April.**

* * *

Kousei grinned a little to himself as he held his pen just above the paper, working out the words he wanted to say to his two best friends. Laughing a little at how much he was overthinking this, Kousei decided to just write whatever he felt like. He knew the two of them wouldn't mind.

 _'Dear Watari and Tsubaki,_

 _Hey. How's it going? How's your schooling and sports coming along? Please don't tell me you're failing your courses because you're focusing too much on the sports. You guys better be acing everything. How many windows have you broken at your new school, Tsubaki? Hopefully not too many; I'm not there to bail you out anymore. And I really hope Watari hasn't broken too many hearts lately; do try your hardest to be more sincere._

 _It's really great here - it's so exciting and new and there's so much to explore. Though it can get lonely since I don't really know anyone here... But the schooling is amazing, I've already learned so much! I'm thinking about sticking with composing. Just the other day, I played_ 'Please Remember' _for one of my teachers, and he loved it! He gave me some tips on how to fine-tune it, and it's really nice how supportive everyone is here. I thought it would be extremely competitive in this music school, but it isn't, and I'm really glad I chose to come here. Kaori would have loved to come here too, I'm sure of it._

 _Before you begin on a tirade over another letter or email to me on how I shouldn't dwell and obsess over Kaori so much, let me tell you now: I'm not. I've let go of the past. I think you guys realized it too, when I played the song. But it's just as Watari said... How did you say it, it was something along the lines of_ "There are old memories, and we can make new ones, right? Keep the old ones - don't ever forget them. But don't just live in those memories - make new memories." _It went something like that, didn't it?_

 _And I'm making plenty of new memories here. I'm sure you guys are, too. I wish we could be making them together, but we can't be stuck together forever now, right? Don't worry too much about me; I can take care of myself just fine, and I promise I won't get mugged or whatever it is you guys are worried about._

 _But it's not like we can all just forget about Kaori either, right? I mean, she pointed us in the ways our lives are going right now. Without her, I wouldn't be here at this music school. Watari would probably have had eight more girlfriends by now and would still be that little playboy everyone secretly wished they could be, and Tsubaki would probably have never realized her own feelings. I think hanging out with another girl really helped you, didn't it Tsubaki? Point is, Kaori is just as big a part of our lives as everyone around us is. Just in different ways. We'll always remember her, whether we want to or not._

 _Well, I didn't write this just to talk about Kaori; just wanted to check up on you guys. Oh, and I broke my cell phone the other day... I may or may not have dropped it. So if I'm not answering your texts, calls, or emails, you know why._

 _I miss you guys so much... I'll be home next break, and we can take a couple jumps together off the bridge again!_

 _I look forward to seeing you guys soon! Again, don't worry too much about me, alright? I'm fine. Have fun playing your sports, and win some games for me!_

 _Love,_

 _Kousei Arima.'_

* * *

On the other side of Japan, the two brunette teens grinned as they read the letter together.

They wouldn't worry too much. Kousei would be just fine.

* * *

This would only be the beginning to the bright, colourful, happy, and love-filled days that Kaori had discovered and opened up for all of them.


End file.
